A Note on Moving Forward
I’ve noticed that you’re looking to make some changes and improve yourself lately. I just want to say how fantastic it is to see that ambition in you. It’s a good instinct.
Before you dive in too deep, I want to share a little perspective on how to make those changes stick. The most important thing is your mindset. It’s easy to think there is a specific destination—that one day you’ll suddenly “arrive” at being the man you want to be. But the truth is, there is no finish line.
Growth isn’t a destination; it’s a road you walk every single day. If you can learn to love the walking, rather than just obsessing over the arrival, you’ll never really fail.
Here are a few things that might help you along the way.
Don’t Walk the Road Alone
It is always harder to do hard things in isolation. Find a friend you trust—someone who has your back but isn’t afraid to be honest with you—and let them in on your plans.
There is a power in having to look someone in the eye and tell them how you did this week.
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If your goal is fitness, knowing you have to meet your buddy at the gym makes it much harder to hit the snooze button.
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You won’t want to show up and tell them you didn’t put the work in. That positive pressure keeps you honest.
Be Honest with Yourself
While a friend helps, you ultimately have to be accountable to the man in the mirror. I’ve found that it helps to keep score.
A goal is just a wish until you can measure it. If you can’t track it, you can’t manage it. When you see your progress written down on paper—even small wins—it gives you the fuel to take the next step.
Find Your “Why”
Willpower is like a muscle; it gets tired. When you’re exhausted and want to quit, willpower won’t be enough. You need a reason. You need your “Why.”
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If you’re trying to save money, don’t just focus on the math. Focus on the freedom that money buys you, or the debt you’re getting off your back.
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If you’re trying to get in shape, focus on the energy you’ll have to enjoy your life.
When your “why” is strong enough, saying “no” to distractions becomes easy.
Set Stakes and Celebrate Wins
Finally, don’t forget to make it interesting. Put some stakes on the table. Give a trusted friend $50 and tell them, “If I don’t hit my mark by Friday, keep the money. If I do, give it back.” It sounds funny, but loss aversion is a great motivator.
And please remember to be kind to yourself, too. When you hit a milestone, celebrate it. Buy that new game, go out for a great steak, or just take a day off.
Don’t get so overwhelmed by the mountain in front of you that you forget to enjoy the climb. You’re doing great.